


Hadopelagic Heart

by Masu_Trout



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Emotionally Repressed, First Kiss, M/M, Manipulation, Mild DDD Spoilers, Obedience, Scheming, Set Mid-KHII
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7740862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masu_Trout/pseuds/Masu_Trout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Organization's work takes its toll on Saïx. Xemnas is more than willing to offer his subordinate what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hadopelagic Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boywonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boywonder/gifts).



> I hope you enjoy this, boywonder! I love the Nobodies, and these two especially are really fun to write.

Just as he'd expected, Xemnas found Saïx in the Addled Impasse. 

His hands were pressed against the cool glass of the chamber's massive window, and he stared through it up at the half-formed Kingdom Hearts with a look of longing so desperate and open that Xemnas would have felt embarrassed for the man if he were capable of such an emotion.

As it was, the most he felt was a phantom pang of concern: concern for his plans, concern for the future, concern for a subordinate who was fraying thin with all the responsibility Xemnas had placed upon him.

(Xemnas should have killed Axel long ago. Saïx would have taken his death far better than his betrayal, and it would have meant fewer problems for the Organization in the long run. He'd let Axel's short-term usefulness blind him to the man's instability. A mistake.)

Xemnas watched Saïx for a moment longer—taking in the way his hands clenched and unclenched as though he might summon his claymore at any moment, the tightness in his posture, and the way the watery glow of Kingdom Hearts turned his hair a much paler shade of blue—before dispersing the shadows around himself and stepping forward. His footsteps echoed through the wide-open chamber.

Saïx turned at his approach, snarl fixed on face to threaten off any unwanted company. He froze when he saw who he was glaring at, though, and the scowl dropped away.

“Xemnas,” he said, bowing his head in greeting. His loyalty was a quiet but unwavering thing, free of the scheming and self-serving little plans most of the others had been so fond of. Sometimes he seemed to have more in common with his Berserker Nobodies than he did with the rest of the thirteen.

“I thought I might find you here. You seem fond of this place.” Xemnas walked a lazy half-circle around Saïx, letting his subordinate turn to match his gaze, before coming to a stop a foot or two away from him. He leaned against the cool glass and looked out at Kingdom Hearts. 

“I am not,” Saïx said quietly: not arguing, just stating a fact. None of them could hold fondness for anything.

Xemnas tilted his head in acknowledgment. “I know. You do _seem_ fond of it, though.”

Saïx sighed. A frown flitted briefly across his face, only to be chased away by his normal blank expression. “It's good to remind myself of what we're working towards, I suppose.”

“I agree. This place reflects its beauty nicely, doesn't it?” He watched as Saïx's attention turned once more to Kingdom Hearts; in his eyes, Xemnas could see the edge of the berserker's madness that lurked within him—and, beyond that, a far more mundane weakness.

He looked hollowed down, strained. The hearts' pale glow lent his face a sickly pallor. 

Saïx was among his most stalwart subordinates, but he had been given a set of unusually taxing duties as of late. Guiding Roxas's Somebody, keeping track of their prisoner, dealing with Axel's betrayal…

Even for someone with little more than a shattered scrap of heart to claim for his own—someone who believed he had even less than that—it had to be a lot to take in. Nobodies, as a general rule, tended to respond poorly to situations that required them to rely on their remembered emotions; it was a taxing thing to try and keep up with complete humans, who drew effortlessly on feelings their kind had to dig deep just to mimic. Little wonder Saïx was getting restless.

There were two ways Xemnas could think of to calm him. He had little patience for sparring—play-acting battles was a useless, tiresome activity for someone with powers like his—so it would have to be the second that he went with.

Xemnas leaned in closer and pressed a hand against Saïx's shoulder. “It will be complete soon. The keyblade wielder is performing exactly as we'd hoped, thanks to your guidance.” He gave Saïx a small smile: not wide enough to seem insincere, but just enough to draw him in.

 _We're in this together,_ the gesture said. _We can rely on each other._

“Can you imagine,” he continued, “when it's finally finished? It will cover the horizon, bigger than any sun, swelling with the weight of every heart it has pulled into itself. Heavy with rage and joy and sorrow.”

“And then we'll have our hearts,” Saïx said quietly.

 _And then you shall host_ my _heart_ , Xemnas thought. He held his tongue, though: Saïx was an excellent vessel for himself (an unfortunate rarity, even among the organization that was made to gather Nobodies with such potential), but that didn't mean he would understand. Saïx was the most single-minded among them in his pursuit of a heart; better to let him believe what he wished.

“Yes,” he said instead, “its strength will be ours once more.” He leaned more heavily against Saïx, close enough now to whisper into his ear. “We won't be controlled by what we lack.”

“Xemnas?” Saïx's voice came out uncertain. His body was ramrod-straight and unnaturally still against Xemnas's.

“Come,” Xemnas said, “you don't have to hide from me. It's difficult for you, isn't it? Seeing someone you once called a friend betray you to chase after yet another traitor.”

Saïx shivered at his words. His hands were white-knuckled at his sides. “I… Xemnas, I promise you, I will not fail you. Roxas is a fool, and Axel”—his voice deepened into a snarl—“even more of one.”

“And yet. It's difficult, isn't it? The memory of companionship is one of the deepest our bodies carry—it's as ingrained as rage or fear. Even here, as Nobodies, we formed alliances among ourselves. Our memories urged us not to be alone.” 

Xemnas reached down to cover one of Saïx's hands with his own. Saïx paused, then turned his hand palm-up so that Xemnas could twine their fingers together.

“Another weakness,” Saïx said. He was looking down at their hands with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Yes,” Xemnas agreed, “but a temporary one.” He brushed a lock of hair away from Saïx's face, then stepped closer. 

Saïx's hands were calloused from gripping his claymore; each patch of hardened skin rubbed against his own smooth fingers. The x-shaped scar was the first thing anyone would notice about him, but this close Xemnas could catch other details too: the thinness of his eyebrows, the slight pale scar that bisected his upper lip, the near-perfect symmetry of his face. 

And his eyes… his eyes were a rich, gratifying shade of gold, a perfect match to Xemnas's own.

He wanted to tell Saïx what that meant, to explain to him just what he was _becoming_. If he knew—if he could truly understand—then certainly he would welcome the transformation, the chance to join the ranks of the true Organization XIII.

There was a time and place for everything, though, and this neither. Xemnas swallowed down the words and instead leaned in to kiss Saïx.

The noises Saïx made were gratifying. He gripped at Xemnas's shoulder as though he were a lifeline, pressing tighter against him as he opened his mouth into the kiss. Xemnas had little memory to draw on in this regard, but it was easy enough to figure out what to do: he licked his way into Saïx's mouth, grabbed his coat in one hand and his hair in the other, and pulled them together until their bodies were flush with each other.

“ _Xemnas_ ,” Saïx said when he finally pulled back, gasping for air, and the sound of his voice—the desperation, the _need_ … 

He should have tried this long ago. Such a shame it had never occurred to him before.

Xemnas silenced Saïx with another kiss, this one quick and closed-mouthed, then looked deep into his eyes. (Gold against gold, like perfect mirrors. They'd been blue-green once, before that fragment of Xemnas's soul had nested deep within him.) “When Kingdom Hearts is complete,” he said, “I'll let you kill the keyblade-wielder yourself.”

Saïx blinked, taking in his words. “I'd thought you would want to be the one to end Roxas.”

“I want him dead. Whose hands it's by doesn't matter to me. And you're the one who planted the seeds of rage inside him—you're the reason he gives us more and more hearts at such a rapid pace. You have claim to that battle more than anyone else.”

It wasn't quite a smile, but Saïx's eyes lit up at his words. Gratitude mixed with battle-lust in his gaze, turning his expression into something truly fearsome. “Xemnas,” he said, voice heavy, “thank you.” 

And then, with a respectful slowness, he leaned in to kiss him once more.

Xemnas let his eyes flicker shut, let himself enjoy the feeling of Saïx's body against him and Kingdom Heart's soft light on his face.

Saïx wouldn't be allowed to falter, even if that meant Xemnas had to hold every single piece of the man's crumbling psyche together himself. He was Xemnas's most loyal subordinate, his perfect mirror, the host for his burgeoning heart. There was use for him still.

 _Soon,_ he thought with something almost like fondness. _Soon you'll understand_.


End file.
